How to maintain Long Distance Love & Relationship
Maybe one of you had to leave because of your studies or work. Maybe the work for you or your partner is shift: a month - at an oil field, a month - at home. Or maybe he's a polar explorer, a sea captain, or an archaeologist. Or (more likely) you met in the same "Tinder", met, you got involved in a real romance - that's just a vacation or business trip over, and one of you, or even both, had to go home. Sometimes in a long-distance relationship, a virtual romance- If the first meeting offline does not disappoint and does not kill the emerging feelings on the root, but on the contrary, and the lovers continue to communicate, they want to meet again, they build common life plans. Such pairs are now becoming more and more, this is a sign of our time: dating services help meet those who live far away and in former times simply, accidentally, would not come across each other, and modern means of communication help maintain contact at any distance. Writers have written ways and tactics to maintain the relationship just like long distance love guid by Bog.
I am going to share with you some important information in this respect. Lets start...
Many do not believe that love can be maintained remotely, they say, will have to face so many difficulties that it is more expensive for oneself, better not even bother, but to find someone closer. But, firstly, if you are already in love and this is mutual, then what you distance - you want to be with this person! And secondly, everything is far from hopeless - the study of Canadian psychologists, published last year in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy , even showed that couples who support romances at a distance are generally satisfied with their relationship no less than those who are near . The main thing is to really support this relationship! But here's how to do it, we'll tell you now.
1. Do not become a fish-stick (or a spammer)
A classic mistake in long-distance relationships is the belief that since you are geographically separated, you have to compensate for this with constant, continuous virtual communication. No, do not do this! You will very quickly become tired of love, which takes away all the forces and time, maintaining relations will become perceived as hard work. A partner may seem that you are behaving too stickily and in a possessive way, he will feel trapped and begin to choke. Less is better, but better.
2. Look at the separation as a new opportunity
"If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live separately," said the unknown sage. Serious separation relationships will only benefit, because this is a good test of your feelings. The wind extinguishes a weak flame, but it inflates a strong flame - surely you have already read this somewhere, do not you? Do not think that the separation was sent to you, the poor Romeo and Juliette, as a curse and the source of unceasing suffering, but that this is your joint spiritual journey, a test that will rally you and make you closer to each other, enrich your couple's history . And it will also help to master other "languages of love", new ways of communication and maintaining contact.
3. Agree on boundaries and rules "on the shore"
In fact, this applies to any romantic relationship, but it often happens that you have already come up with names for your future kids, and your fatal lover is sincerely sure that you just have casual sex (and what's wrong, you did not agree on anything else , he did not promise you anything, right?). But with a novel at a distance to agree on what kind of relationship you really have and what you can expect from each other, it is especially important. Because long distance is a test, and if you are going to invest your energy, time and emotional resources, then you need to understand what you are investing into. Is it supposed that you are serious, do you have joint plans for the future, mutual obligations? Or you just have a pleasant time together, you like to correspond, and you are ready someday, on occasion, to visit each other orto go on vacation together ? Is your relationship fidelity and exclusivity ? Or while you are far away and see you rarely, you both can go on dates with other people? But do not talk about it? Or tell? (Oh, this, honestly, it is better not!) But the degree of openness in a pair is also a topic for your negotiations.)
4. Create rituals for your couple
To keep your communication alive and not begin to distance yourself from each other, you need general rituals. If earlier - before separation - you already lived together, then some common traditions and habits you probably already formed. Now you have to think about how you can implement these traditions from a distance. If your relationship as a matter of fact and began as remote, then the rituals create those that you can implement through instant messengers and Skype. The simplest and most obvious: every day write or say each other "Good Morning" and "Good Night", tell how your day went, send photos, short audio and video - yourself and everything that surrounds you. "Here I am, here's my view from the balcony, here's my way to work ..." - to someone who is in love, it's all important and interesting.
5. Do not neglect "Skype"
Not everyone likes remote video communication, some are struggling to get rid of regular calls under the most stupid pretexts. Perhaps, on a cloudy morning on Skype or on FaceTime you seem to be not at all as beautiful as you would like to present to a loved one on an ideal date, and the light is somehow different, and bruises under your eyes, and enrages you, as it sounds in computer your voice ... Yes, video communication is imperfect - it distorts picture and sounds. But what the hell, are not we zazhralis? If our grandmothers knew, that we will have the opportunity to contact your loved one on video at any time of the day or night, and even for free, yes they would be obzavidovalis! So do not turn your nose and be grateful for modern technology. Let you not be able to hug each other right now, bury your hair, smell the skin of your beloved, but you can look into each other's eyes and talk. Take time for a daily (or weekly) video call that will be convenient for both of you. These video sessions at a certain time will become your tradition, you both will prepare for them - remember in advance that it's interesting to tell each other, to do (if you want) the correct Skype make-up , to dress up (or vice versa - to show off ...).
6. Do not forget about sex!
About undressing we are not just so. Of course, the main test for a couple at a distance is sex. More precisely, its impossibility (at least in the usual sense). But you can do not too little: exchange playful messages, send your hot photos, well, again, on "Skype" you can not only talk (we hope that you are already big and do not teach us what you can show each other). Remember and know: Sexting is not some kind of "dirty entertainment", it's the glue that will support your relationship, and that emotional make-up that will help you survive separation, including avoiding temptations and cheating. But the time of forced abstinence can be perceived as a spiritual journey and the time of development of your couple's sexual potential: learn to speak and write about your fantasies, about what it was difficult for you to admit to your favorite offline. It is during this period that you can develop an erotic language and vocabulary that will only belong to you two. So you add to your love more subtle sensuality, and this will serve you an excellent service after separation.network security !
7. Do something together
I mean, not only what we told you about in the previous paragraph. Together at a distance you can play online games, sing and play musical instruments, watch movies or videos on Youtube simultaneously, go for a walk - go out for a walk, talking on Skype. In general, include spontaneity and creativity!
8. Accumulate the common experience
Recommend each other books, TV shows, movies, music, send links to interesting articles and videos. When you read, watch and listen to the same thing (albeit not at the same time), it is a common experience, a common mental space. So you have more interesting topics for conversation. And do not be lazy to watch (albeit not immediately) what your beloved sent you, even if he sends too much and not at the most convenient moments!
9. Enjoy and time without a loved one
Yes exactly! The huge mistake of many separated lovers is to completely depreciate the time that is spent in separation. Like, I really live only when you come ... And these romantics drag from a meeting to a meeting a meaningless gray existence, like in prison, and almost the days in the calendar are crossed out. Handsomely? No, my friends, it's impossible! This is a nonsense aboutFirstly, life is too short to spend so many days, weeks and months without mediocrity. Secondly, if you become so unhappy, and your life is so dreary, then you and your loved one will have nothing to talk about, energy, drive and libido will drain from your communication.
Thirdly, if you depreciate the rest of your life - without a loved one - and invest all emotional resources in anticipation of the next meeting, then this greatly increases the risk that the meeting will disappoint you. You expect too much from a joint pastime - the reality simply can not match your dreams. Well, you are already so used to suffering and being miserable during these months - your brain will simply not be able to change to the "happiness" mode! Therefore, appreciate this time of forced loneliness - it can become a very important period of development, understanding of your very precious relationships. Spend time alone with yourself, and with friends, relatives, do not miss and do not overgrown with moss! Then your loved one will be more interesting and fun to you.
